I had my cancer surgery on April 17th, three and a half months ago. I have, according to many people, recovered quite well… physically.
The much greater challenge, however, has been the emotional recovery. I have sadness that occurs regularly, an inevitable part of each day. At times it seems surreal, what really transpired.
I joined an ostomy support group and at the first meeting, a social worker with an ostomy herself, described the psychological impact of this life-altering episodic event. She espoused that it’s a bereavement process, that sadness will evolve and linger for quite awhile beyond the physical healing. She continued that one must be accepting of this and not fall into a depressed state.
Thanks to my wonderful girlfriend, the inimitable Ms. J, and the amazing support of Matthew and Barry, I feel balanced. I accept the sadness yet my life is still rich. I have more moments of happiness than unhappiness.
I am meditating more and attempting to progress to a humble and thankful state of mind. Writing my memoir and the blog prove to be therapeutic. Thanks also to Arlene Mesner and all my friends who have had positive thoughts and comments.
Beautiful and heartfelt post Jeff. Sadness is an emotion that many don’t let themselves feel. I have not had that problem myself. Just know, as you do, that it will pass and that your life, although changed, will gradually have a different normalcy. You have shown such incredible strength through this ordeal. You’ve been a great inspiration for me.
Your doing awesome Dad! I am continuing to learn every day from you
I am so glad to hear you are recovering well, Jeff. I think one of the common and misplaced lessons of our culture is that we should always be happy; as if that is or should be, the “default” mental state to which we should all aspire. Having actually bought into that madness, I found it hard to accept any daily feelings that did not measure up. I actually would like to believe we could welcome the entire menu of emotions of which we are capable. Just my thoughts…keep healing Jeff, you still have some important work to give.
Thank you for sharing your journey, Jeff. May you continue to draw from sources of strength every day that will uplift and carry you through the difficult moments.
Wow, Jeff! Thank you for sharing. I also have sadness each day in my life….from a different cause. The stark power and sheer beauty of nature instill pure joy to my inner being and take me by surprise at any moment. Balance is the key. Much love and many good thoughts to you.